Is Your Partner Your Soulmate or Your Twin Flame? (And What That Means For Your Relationship) (2023)

Have you ever met someone and immediately knew they were meant to be in your life? Maybe talking to them felt like talking to an old friend, even though you’d just met, or maybe you suddenly couldn’t picture a future without them in it. Not to get all woo-woo on you, but it might not just be your imagination. You might have met your soulmate or twin flame: someone who’s intertwined with your soul. So what does that mean if you didn’t feel that cosmic connection with your partner? First, let’s get into the difference.

What is a Soulmate?

To put it simply, soulmates are two souls that are destined to be together. But don’t get it twisted: Your soulmate can be platonic too (I stand by that Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha are each others’ soulmates!). You and your soulmate might meet and click automatically (like your work-wife-turned-BFF). “A soulmate is a person you feel so connected to [that] the relationship runs smoothly because of the strong bond and are compatible [with],” said Dr. Mya Bellinger, a medical practitioner who specializes in internal medicine.

A soulmate connection will pale in comparison to other relationships you’ve had in the past. They often feel very easy because you two souls will always find a way to compromise and make your relationship work. “It is with the soulmate that you finally start to ask genuine questions about yourself and love, you begin to face the answers that you’ve been avoiding, and you grow,” said Celebrity Love Architect Kailen Rosenberg.

You have many soulmates out there, so your best friend, sibling, and partner could all be soulmate connections.

How do I know when I’ve met my soulmate?

A soulmate connection will feel easy and expand your greatness. It might feel too good to be true, especially if relationships in the past have felt like a full-time job trying to understand each other. You might feel like you’ve known them your whole life even if you just met, and you might be more vulnerable than you’ve ever been before.

What is a Twin Flame?

On the other hand, a “Twin flame is a kind of relationship where the same soul is cut into two or a mirror of each other,” said Samantha Moss, editor & content ambassador at Romantific. “This is one soul that shares an intense connection because they mirror each other’s weaknesses, emotional damages, and insecurities.” So if you wondered why Taylor Swift called J*ke Gyll*nh*al her twin flame in “All Too Well (10-Minute Version),” now you know. Your twin flame isn’t always your perfect match because you two can bring out negative sides to each other; however, twin flames often learn a lot from each other.

Because these relationships can be so transforming, some experts even believe you can’t meet your soulmate without having learned the necessary lessons from a twin flame connection.

But what if you’re dating and in love with your twin flame? Don’t panic. Twin flames teach us a lot about ourselves, and when aligned, you can also bring out the best in each other. These relationships might not come with as much ease as a soulmate connection, but you can end up extremely happy with your twin flame for the rest of your life.

How do I know when I’ve met my twin flame?

Ever meet someone and wonder how you could possibly be so alike? A twin flame is like a mirror version of yourself. You may be surprised by how similar you are and how natural conversation feels.

But if you haven’t met your twin flame yet, don’t feel like you need to plan a cross-country road trip in search of them. Not everyone will have a twin flame, and that’s OK—it just makes finding your soulmate that much easier.

What’s the Difference Between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame?

While they share similarities (you’ll feel like you were destined to meet them and they can both bring a lot of healing and growth to your life), they’re also very different connections. The main difference is that while your twin flame is two halves of the same soul, soulmates are two souls that belong together. Because of this, twin flames aren’t always your perfect match in terms of romantic relationships or friendships, whereas once soulmate connections meet, it’s difficult to ever imagine them apart. “A twin flame relationship is meant to challenge us in order to get you closer to the best version of yourself,” said Amy Javier, Intuitive Wellness Guide.

If you’re looking for long-lasting, committed romantic love, you’ll find that with your soulmate. Javier explained that unlike twin flames, soulmates are a “reflection of all your great qualities.” While you can end up with your twin flame, a romantic soulmate connection is more likely to last long-term.

In this vein, the same person cannot be your soulmate and twin flame. You also can meet many soulmates in your lifetime, but you only have one twin flame.

Should I Be With My Twin Flame or Soulmate?

One connection isn’t necessarily “better” than the other, as both can lead you to grow and can have long-term success. This all depends on how you’re looking to grow and the work you’ve already done. Twin flames can be more intense and chaotic, but they teach us a lot about ourselves. Maybe you had a whirlwind romance in your early 20s that taught you how to love (and broke your heart into a million pieces? Not that I know from experience or anything), and now you’re dating in your 30s, ready to meet your soulmate. Perhaps you just ended a long-term relationship and are looking for an intense kind of love that will change your life. Platonically, a twin flame could be the toxic best friend that turned everything between you two into a competition or it could be your sibling who feels like your other half. It truly all depends on where you’ve been and where you’re going.

What If I’m Non-Monogamous?

However, the idea of soulmates and twin flames in relationships is antiquated for some, as it entirely relies on monogamy to work. The concept that there’s one single person out there for everyone goes against all the various types of relationships people have, especially those who practice ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

How Do I Find Mine?

Don’t put too much pressure on “finding” your soulmate or twin flame, as they will come naturally into your life. “The point of understanding both types is not to seek out these types in romantic relationships but to allow yourself to vibrate at a level that encourages your connection with someone who matches that vibration,” said Rev. Lisann Valentin, shamanic amplifier and intuitive coach.

Valentin explained that you’re a magnet for your twin flame and soulmate connections—but you have to do the self-love work to get there. “Trust that your light will act as a beacon to bring you whatever experience your soul calls for … be it a soulmate or your twin flame.”